Cute
by CallMeAddicted
Summary: They've forgotten who she truly is, but she'll remind them. Never again will they call her...cute.


Regina knew she wouldn't enjoy a single bit of the impending interaction with Ruby Lucas. She knew it because of the way the waitress grinned at her as she approached the table where she and Emma were currently indulging in Granny's signature Sunday Breakfast Extravaganza. Well, Emma was indulging; Regina was simply watching the spectacle, occasionally stealing a bit of the perfectly baked hash browns, but swearing it was her last bite. When she looked up from her own meal and saw the tall brunette swaying in their direction, the wolfish grin the woman sported struck fear into her spotted heart. This could only end one way: Regina vowed she wouldn't go down without a fight.

"Hey there, Gina! Emma!" Ruby casually slid into the booth next to the blonde, directly across from Regina. "I just heard some gossip from the chairwoman of the Miner's Day Board…"

"Let me stop you right there, Miss Lucas…"

"Regina, I've seen you high that one time the Sheriff's office got a call about a magical disturbance at the convent and the Blue Fairy decided the best way to get revenge on you was to blow some mystery dust in your face. I think we can skip the honorific—you can call me Ruby. Or Red, if Her Majesty pleases," the waitress grinned salaciously.

"Hey," Emma warned, though her warning wasn't quite as robust as it would have been if delivered to any other person flirting with her girlfriend.

Regina's cautious mood persisted, "You may continue."

"As I was saying, I heard some really good gossip about the Miner's Day festivities. One of the activities the board agreed on was a town-wide superlative competition. One of the categories the board approved at the last meeting was Cutest Couple, and guess who was nominated?!"

Emma looked up from her breakfast, the topic piquing her interest. But dread instantly filled Regina; she knew what was happening here. She'd seen the attack the moment it was launched. She didn't know which strategy would be best: offense or defense? Should she jump across the table now and strangle the taller brunette or jump across the table and keep running all the way home? Regina didn't run, no she was a fighter. She was the fiercest, most bad-ass mothe—

"You!" Ruby squealed. Her megawatt smile danced back and forth between Regina and Emma, anxiously awaiting a response.

"Us?" Emma asked. Traitor. She _would_ be into this nonsense.

"Yes! The two of you are so cute together, I've heard talk that you're even cuter than Snow and Charming. There is a very good chance you'll win this category if you do the right campaigning."

"Wow, really? That's awesome!" Emma exclaimed with her mouth still half full of fried, dead animals. "Babe, can you imagine my mom's face when we kick their asses for Cutest Couple?"

"How _dare you!_" she hissed. "I would be well within my rights to cut short your pathetic life for spreading such filthy, malicious accusations throughout my town!" Regina bulldozed through the excitement of the two women sitting across from her. "Is your memory so short that you do not remember that I am the most powerful sorceress in all the realms, the Evil Queen, feared by millions, the Goddess of Darkness and Doom?! I…am not…_cute_!" she spat the last word as if it were a curse upon her house and waited with bated breath for the apology she damn-well deserved. It never came.

Emma, very quickly followed by Ruby, burst into laughter, fits so uncontrollable they each struggled to breathe. "_Darkness and Doom!_" Emma mocked before drowning in another wave of laughter-induced tears.

Annoyed to no end and highly insulted, Regina glared at the waitress and her girlfriend who, of all people, should have commanded respect on her behalf. '_Cute?'_ she thought. I'll show them cute. With a well-practiced wave of her hand, a cloud of light purple (her magic had become heavily diluted with light and True Love and savior-y elements) smoke washed over Emma and Ruby, the two none the wiser. They shrank in size until she could no longer see them from her vantage point. She could hear faint squeaking noises and rose from her seat in the booth to peer over the other side. On the seat were two mice squeaking their little hearts out, tails waving and bellies jiggling. They were still engaged in violent fits of laughter, too engrossed in the apparent hilarity of Regina's plight to realize they'd been transformed. Mouse-Ruby leaned into Mouse-Emma's side for support. Mouse-Emma tipped over onto her side, laughing and kicking her little mouse paws.

"Hey," a gruff voice caught Regina's attention. She looked up to see Granny stood over her, hands on her hips. Regina raised an eyebrow in silent challenge. Granny continued. "Get those two heckling idiots out of my diner, Regina, I've got a Grade A reputation to protect. My diner does not serve vermin."

"Absolutely, Granny. Could I have a to-go box, please? Oh, and put the bill on Emma's tab." She smiled a wide, toothy smile, the first all day. It felt good to let her inner bad girl out to play every now and then, you know, outside of the bedroom. She reached over to the other side of the table and collected the two squeakers into her hands. Regina hadn't exactly wanted to put two mice into her purse, but it wasn't like they were two random mice: one was the mother of her son and the other was the pain in the ass she put up with for some unknown reason. She unceremoniously dropped them into her Hermès and snorted at the resulting sound of little mouse gasps as they landed at the bottom of the dark bag. Granny brought by her to-go box and she transferred her own non-eaten food into it, consciously ignoring Emma's leftovers. If she didn't get to finish it's her own fault. On that note, Regina picked up her food box and her purse, swinging it merrily as she exited the diner.

She wondered how long it would take Emma to figure out that, first, she had magic and second, she could use that magic to get herself out of this situation. Judging by the grumpy dispositions of Mouse-Emma and Mouse-Ruby, Regina figured that Emma did, in fact, remember her magic but sadly hasn't yet figured out how to reverse the transformation spell.

Regina grinned devilishly at the two mice that tumbled out of her purse and onto the dashboard of the Mercedes. One mouse had much more of an annoyed countenance and stood with her front paws crossed over her chest—she guessed that was Mouse-Emma.

The brunette chuckled, "I've got the most wonderful plans for the two of you. But I think you're dressed rather inappropriately for the occasion; allow me to remedy that for you." With another evil wave of her hand, her magic clouded over Mouse-Emma first. When the light purple cloud (very light purple) dissipated, Mouse-Emma squeaked in horror as she looked down at her paws. They were covered in white gloves. Worse, she was dressed in a black turtleneck and red shorts.

Admiring her work, Regina almost lost custody of Mouse-Ruby who attempted to make a mad dash across the wood-paneled dashboard and out of the car window. Regina wanted to have her fun, but didn't want to cause an accident where Mouse-Ruby gets chased by a stray cat or snatched up by an owl or something. She quickly rolled up the car windows and pinched the back of Mouse-Ruby's pink and white polka-dotted dress to drag her back over to where Mouse-Emma waited. Mouse-Ruby glared at her own white-gloved hands in resentment then focused that glare on Regina.

"I'm doing this for your own good—to teach you both to take me seriously when I make a threat and never to doubt my ferocity again. Now do you think you've learned your lesson?" she looked expectantly at the two rodents. They eagerly nodded to convey to her that, yes, they'd learned. "Good. I'm glad. But I'm not done. By the time today is over, you will rue the day you referred to Regina Mills as _cute._"

It was around 11a.m. now and the target, Snow, would be in her Mommy and Me class with Nea-_Baelfire_ (as Emma preferred to call him) along with all the other moms of toddlers in Storybrooke, including the ever-annoying Princess Ashley – the second target. If Emma and Ruby thought it so great to be thought of as cute, she'd give them a taste of their own medicine. She lifted her phone from her purse and dialed Snow's number, awaiting an answer.

_"Regina?" _Snow whispered. _"I'm almost done with Mommy and Me. Is this an emergency?"_

"No, there's no emergency. I just found something—two somethings—that I'm not sure what to do with. I thought you might be able to help. I'll meet you at the community center?"

_"Okay," _the other woman whispered on her end. _"Class will be over in about ten minutes. See you then."_

"Yes, see you then." When Regina ended the call, she glanced over to the mice. Mouse-Ruby looked to be encouraging Mouse-Emma as Mouse-Emma desperately tried to access her magic to revert them back. A small puff of white smoke later and Mouse-Emma was no less a mouse, but instead donned a pair of yellow booties to go with her outfit. It was now Regina's turn to engage in fits of laughter. Her little mouse girlfriend looked adorable as Storybrooke's version of Mickey.

With phone in hand, Regina opened her camera app and took a few photos of the tiny duo. She even turned her body awkwardly in the front seat of her car and took a selfie with the mice in the background. She posted that one to Snap Chat with a caption that read, _'Look who I spotted wandering around our little fairy tale town! Dreams really _do_ come true…'_ Sending the snap to Henry and a few of her villain buddies, she giggled in victory. Today was shaping up to be an amazing day.

She could have walked to the community center from her parking spot on Main Street, but then she'd have to walk back in order to get the car and drive home, so she started the engine, and before driving off, dropped the mice back in her purse and placed the purse on the passenger seat. She strapped her purse into the seatbelt—safety first. The drive to the community center was quick, as expected, and she found a spot right in the front. This would be fun.

By the time Regina casually entered the community center, she noticed a few moms and their children leaving. Class was most likely over and she could facilitate the next phase of her plan. She walked into one of the rooms down the first corridor and spotted Snow and Ashley chatting on an activity mat as their toddlers played with some blocks. _'Perfect,'_ Regina thought. Her signature evil grin was permanently affixed to her face at this point.

"Regina, hi!" Snow looked up as she noticed the sound of her heels. "Where's Emma? I thought the two of you were together?"

"She's around." Regina removed her jacket and knelt down on the activity mat—a majorly uncharacteristic move for her. Snow frowned. "I found two small creatures that I believe need safe harbor; I immediately thought of you. Maybe your ability to communicate with birds translates to all woodland creatures? Besides, they could be sentient. In this town, you never know."

Unceremoniously, the Queen opened her purse and flipped it upside-down. One mouse fell right out onto the mat with a squeak while the other did its best to hang on to the purse straps before Regina gently loosened its grip. It fell too.

"Oh…my…Gosh! It's Mickey and Minnie!" Snow squealed. Mouse-Emma fretfully looked back and forth between her evil girlfriend and her scary, larger-than-normal mother.

"Oh, right, this realm has many stories about these mice, correct?"

"Regina, where did you find them? How did they get here? Did they come over from the Enchanted Forest? I don't ever remember seeing them or hearing stories about them in our land," Snow rushed. She scooped up Mouse-Emma and shook one of her little white-gloved paws. "Hello, Mickey! We've heard so many stories about you!" she practically yelled, as if it would make the mouse understand her better.

Mouse-Ruby tried to slowly back away but was caught by Ashley who quickly grabbed her. "Oh no you don't little one. It's a big scary world out there and you don't want to get eaten by a possum or something!" Ashley cooed at Mouse-Ruby in the most annoying baby talk. "Snow, look at this little dress!" Young Baelfire wobbled over to his mother who brought him closer so he, too, could greet the tiny mouse. He went to pet Mouse-Emma on the head and she ducked down into Snow's hand. Regina imagined that even the toddlers would be scary for the mice since they were now miniscule.

"Well, I've got a very busy day—errands to run, Netflix to watch. I'm sure I'm no longer needed here. Snow, be a dear a take care of our new arrivals."

"I'd be honored! Perhaps I can invite some of the birds over to see if they can communicate with each other."

"That's a brilliant idea!" Regina smiled way too widely. "Call if you need anything."

One her way out, she noticed Mouse-Emma attempt to swan-dive off of Snow's hand. Snow caught her though and placed her and Mouse-Ruby inside Baelfire's diaper bag. _"It's for your own protection…"_ Snow cooed.

The booming sound of Regina's evil laugh echoed through the halls of the community center as she made her way out. What sweet revenge this was.

* * *

She had intended on letting Emma and Ruby remain in Snow's custody for the rest of the evening but then she remembered it was Emma's night to cook. Also, Emma owed her a mature-content related favor from the other day and she planned on collecting tonight so her revenge had to be cut short. It wasn't every day the ex-Evil Queen got to let her inner bad girl out to play and she'd enjoyed every moment of today's merriment. Most of all, Emma and Ruby will forever think twice about calling her _cute._

When Snow answered the door and led her inside the loft, she found herself in the middle of what could only be called a fairy nightmare.

"What the hell?" she looked around the small but crowded apartment in disbelief. It was a bit concerning that Baelfire, Jr. was napping with a bunch of baby raccoons and squirrels. At first glance, it was difficult to determine whether these were the offspring of clean, sentient Animals or the progeny of wild, rabid field animals, but regardless, it was not as concerning as the number of woodland creatures casually milling about Snow's apartment. There were a couple of deer lapping tea from mugs at the kitchen table; there were a discomforting number of birds chirping and perched on the television; there were a handful of raccoons, squirrels and rabbits on the sofa that appeared to be watching an episode of _Who's the Boss?_.

"Regina, hi. Ashley just left. She brought Jacques and the others by to see if they could communicate with Mickey and Minnie but there seemed to be a language barrier. I figured I'd invite some of the Animals over to try and find out some more information."

"So, these are _Animals_ and not animals?"

"Of course, Regina. Would I let my son nap with a bunch of random animals in his pack 'n' play?" Snow chortled.

"Considering you named him after your daughter's criminal ex-boyfriend, your parenting is subject to question," Regina stepped further into the apartment, carefully minding her footsteps so as not to injure one of the Animals. "So, where are our guests? I believe I have figured out where they have come from and I have a way to send them back."

"Oh, you did? That's great!" Snow led Regina into the kitchen and over to the counter where "Mickey" and "Minnie" were huddled around a large cube of cheese. "I'm sure they'll be excited to get back to all their friends and family. How did you figure it out? Do you need any magical help? Where is Emma, by the way? I haven't seen her all day."

"Oh, she's out running some errands. It's her turn to cook tonight."

The mice looked up at Regina with pleading looks in their eyes. Her evil streak was wearing off and she kind of felt bad but had absolutely no regrets. This had been both fun for her and educational for them. "I'm sure I won't need any help getting these two back where they belong. I believe they simply slipped through a mouse-sized crack in the magical barrier. I'll open a tiny portal and get them back then patch up the crack."

"I am so relieved! I would have loved to host them longer but they seem much more uptight and antisocial then all the stories have made them out to be. They are certainly not the adventurous mice depicted on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse."

"Well, you know the stories of this world rarely get it right. I'll just scoop them into my purse and get out of your hair. You seem quite busy," she noted, glancing around again at them apartment full of wildlife.

"This was a great experience, Regina. Thank you for trusting me to try to help you with this magical catastrophe. It means a lot to me that I was the first person you called on for assistance. I guess our relationship really has come a long way," Snow praised.

Unceremoniously, Regina picked up Mouse-Emma and Mouse-Ruby and dropped them into her Hermes. She turned to face Snow to thank her and try her darndest to respond nicely to Snow's saccharine sentiments. "No, thank _you_ for keeping our mouse friends company while I figured out a way to solve the problem and keep Storybrooke safe. Teamwork makes the dream work, right?" she smiled what she hoped was a less scary version of her politician smile. It seemed to go over well since Snow's only response was to smile back and hug her tightly. It had become something of a reflex to hug Snow back these days and so, she did, but not because they were basically family or because Snow was the mother of her girlfriend and grandmother of her son. This was just civility.

Snow released her finally and said, "Let me know how it goes. If you need anything, we're all here to help, right guys?" She looked around the apartment at her Animal cohorts, who all nodded and agreed to lend a hand (or hoof) if needed. Lifting Regina's purse closer to her face, Snow peered inside the bag and cooed in her sweetest, most cartoon-like voice, "It was such a pleasure to meet the famous Mickey and Minnie Mouse! Thank you for visiting our land! Have a wonderful trip back and tell your little friends about us! Goodbye! You're so cute!"

Regina grabbed the bag away from her; it was like ripping a bone away from a dog. She had to distract the princess by tossing a bit of magic at the birds to scare them into flapping all around the living room before Snow released her grip on the bag.

"Enjoy the rest of your day, Snow. And thanks again!" Regina quickly made her way to the front door and bolted out, not even bothering to close said door.

"And tell Emma to call me when she's done with her errands!" the princess called after her. "And if you see Ruby, tell her to call me too!"

* * *

Ten minutes later, Regina was in her living room emptying the mice out of her bag and onto the coffee table. It was just her luck that Emma finally, _finally_ figured out her magic. Like a disaster you can see coming but just do not have time to stop, Mouse Emma waved her paws over herself and Ruby and the two idiots became human again on top of her coffee table, which had survived all manner of magical mishaps—and toddler Henry—only to be broken to pieces under the weight of two suddenly grown women, one of whom possesses the dense musculature of a werewolf.

Emma had the nerve to immediately defend herself. "Don't get mad at me; the table wouldn't be broken if you hadn't dumped us from your twenty-thousand-dollar bag onto the coffee table. And we wouldn't have been _in_ your bag if you hadn't turned us into mice. So, there," she carefully stood up from the wreckage and dusted herself off.

"You have got to be kidding me! You've spent all day trying to harness enough magic to change yourself back and you suddenly get it to work on top of my hand-crafted coffee table?!" Regina was seeing red. Emma and Ruby were seeing purple. Her super-charged magic was feeding off of her anger and purple flashed in her eyes. "And I just vacuumed the rug, Emma! Now I have to clean up the mess you've made and vacuum all over again to get all the splintered wood out of the rug because next thing you know, you'll be walking in here barefoot and get a splinter because you are just _that_ accident-prone!"

"Again, ALL of this…is YOUR FAULT, REGINA!" Emma yelled back. "So what, we called you cute? You are. Get over it!"

Imprudently, Ruby cut in. "Yeah and this little tantrum about splinters and shit, it's freaking adorable, especially when you pout."

There was dead silence and Ruby smartly took that moment to remember that she'd spent the better part of her day as a miniscule mouse dressed in a polka-dot dress with Snow White and Cinderella cooing over her. "K, I'm gonna go now," she hopped over the wood pile and sprinted out of the mansion. The only sound filling the air was that of the heavy front door slamming shut.

"Why do you have such a problem with being called cute, huh? It's a hell of a lot better than being called 'the Evil Bitch who must be beheaded.' Not too long ago, that's what people saw you as and now, they just see you as you. And sometimes you're cute. Sometimes you're sexy. Well, pretty much all the time, you're sexy. But is it really that bad?" Emma moved closer to her. Regina's emotions were all over the place and she honestly had no idea why but she was basically shaking with the effort to contain an all-out tantrum. Emma proceeded slowly so as not to cause alarm. She found it funny but also useful that she, at least, still inspired some level of fear.

"Before I was the Evil Queen I was basically nothing. No one saw me as anything more than a pretty trophy or a babysitter. At least when I was Queen I was feared and respected. Now, I go into Granny's and my usual seat is taken and the peasants don't even fear retaliation. Where am I supposed to sit while I enjoy my coffee?"

"You could sit at the bar…"

"I would never."

"Okay, is that all, though?" Emma asked. "You may not be feared anymore but you're certainly loved, and appreciated, and respected. And let's be honest, the citizens of Storybrooke—my mother especially—still harvest a bit of fear of you. Deep down. It's never going to go away. You can be this adorable little fluffy fur ball but then you glare at someone and flash a little magic in your hands and they're peeing their pants, just like in the good ol' days."

That _was_ true. All she had to do to get her seat back at Granny's was sit down and glare at the person who dared to take her seat and they'd get the hint. But she had worked hard for her new reputation and really didn't want to go back to being the feared Evil Queen or the ice-cold Madam Mayor. She just wanted to feel some of her former bad-assery and know without a doubt that people never forgot her fierceness.

"I don't _really_ have a problem with being…_cute_… I just, don't want anyone to forget who I really am. I know I look good and I know I have a more appealing side which you call cute, but I am also a Queen and the most powerful sorceress in all the realms. Do not ever forget that," she fixed Emma with the most striking glare she could muster, even though she wasn't really feeling it.

"Spoken like a truly humble servant of the people. And just so you know," the blonde pulled her close and spoke against her lips, "You're gonna get yours for what you made us go through today."

Leaning her head back, Regina laughed a deeply disturbing laugh at the thought of how Mouse Ruby and Mouse Emma probably spent the day hiding from the doting princesses. "My dear, I'd say we're even for the way you humiliated me in the diner."

"Calling you out on being adorable is hardly worth the torture you inflicted on us. My mother's giant face close-up singing "Whistle While You Work" while twirling in nauseating circles is a punishment not proportionate with the crime." When Regina snorted and giggled at what she imagined was a frightened mouse doing its best to run and hide under any surface, Emma took the opportunity to lift her off the floor and kiss her into silence. "You're definitely going to pay for that…"

"I am? And how exactly shall I make amends, Emma?"

"Not with sex. This is just because I'm horny and want to get you into bed. You're gonna pay the good old fashioned way…a magical prank war. A war that I _will_ win."

"We'll see about that," she returned the kisses fiercely.

Emma stopped her suddenly, "By the way, I heard my mom and Ashley talking about how they were both nominated for cutest couple also. They actually laughed at the idea that we got nominated. Can you believe that?"

"Your mother's an idiot. She has no idea what we're capable of. We're going to make her regret the day she ever thought she could compete with us and I want to be there to see her face when the Miner's Day Committee announces _us_ as cutest couple. Then I'm going to make out with you in front of her and ruin her life…" she said darkly.

"…Okay, but now can we just get back to sex?"

"Yes, poof of upstairs."

With a wave of Emma's hand, absolutely nothing happened. She tried again and still nothing.

"Emma, seriously, you need to work on commanding your magic. This is getting ridiculous." With a wave of her own hand, she commanded her lavender magic to take them upstairs to the bedroom. On the way up she thought, ruefully, that even her magic was getting _cute_. When had it become such a pretty pastel color?

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading! Leave reviews, I enjoy reading them. **


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